The Cohhilition

I grant your wish and Justin Bieber can't get enough of you!

I wish for never ending Tacos!

Wish granted. You become extremely sexy, except the women want you as a friend and the guys want to get in your pants.

I wish I had a backbone.

Wish granted. These tacos had ghost chilis in the meat, so not only do you lose the taste buds on your tongue, you a profusely bleeding out your butt.

I wish for a stronger backbone

Granted! All the women want you, your mother, grandmother, aunts, cousins, sisters, all those fiesty ladies at the old folk homes, want your junk.

I wish to be faxed some delicious bacon and waffles

Wish granted, you get the professional PC but its so pro you dont know how to turn it on and every time you touch it it gives you and electric shock.

I wish to live on the moon.

Wish granted, but you forgot to pack your space suit when leaving Earth, so you die when you get there.

I wish I had a lifetimes supply of bacon

Wish granted, but it's locked in a clear vault and they never told you the code to access it. you can only stare at it forever. strangely you can smell it as well and it seems like some really good quality bacon.

I wish I could could get a steam account with every game on steam credited to the account.

Gaben falls down your chimney like santa clause with a brand new computer that has steam installed and every game credited to the account. However, you're forced to download every single train simulator dlc on your dial-up connection before you can access any other game.

I would to be able to teleport.

Granted, but you fell asleep during practical training so you split yourself in half.

I wish Torque would run the country for a week.

He does, but he does not return the power after a week. We all die working as slaves, carrying catnip all day!

I wish I wouldnt miss so many streams because of school

Granted, you fail out of school and start work at McDonalds. You watch the streams at the local library as you cannot afford a computer, phone or internet.

I wish this week would fly by, I want to start my new job.

You get hit by a car and you fall into a coma, the week flies by, but when you wake up, the new job doesnt wants you anymore.

I wish a bacon sandwich!

Wish granted, but instead of legitimate crispy bacon, it's soggy and made of soy.

I wish I could lose 100 pounds of my weight.

Looks like you got your wish! You lose 80 pounds of fat before your eyes but suddenly slump to the ground in a jelly like manner, the other 20 pounds were your bones...

I wish I didn't have to sleep.

granted! you are kept up at all times by terrible nightmares of your horrible untimely death and the end of the world!

I wish I could just get twitch streams beamed into my brain so i dont have to bother with silly tv screens.

Wish Granted! You now get ALL twitch streams beamed into your brain simultaneously!

I wish I could build physical things.

In the end no matter what you build kills someone.

I wish I could make food appear from thin air.

Wish Granted!
The food appears in your throat and chokes you to death.

I wish I could use teleportation.

Wish Granted,
You are teleported into a wall

I wish for a rainbow