The Cohhilition

Okay, bit of a heavy topic, especially from a new forum participant, but I'm sort of a bit lost and this came almost out of nowhere for me. Don't really have too many places to ask, and I'm hoping there might be someone on here that's gone through something similar.

My immediate family has never been overly close with my extended family. We've had good moments and family gatherings, but when we separated ourselves from most of them it wasn't particularly emotionally hard-hitting. We just did it and moved on. But we, my immediate family, were pretty close. Yearly Christmases together, and often still managing to get together in the summers to get away for a while... I should also add that both my brother and my mother were my first real best friends and have been my best supporters, so they're both close to me.

I got a call from my mother yesterday. My brother's had a rough life, so there's a few things he is traumatized by. I knew he was uncomfortable about my mother's religiousness, but I didn't know it was this bad. Apparently, he has cut all ties from my mother and told her he doesn't want to hear from her again. He's a very emotionally private person and very slow to act on his emotions, so for him to do something like this means it's not only a decision he's been stewing over for months but also one he will not go back on easily.

I'm still in shock. I've not been able to bring myself to contact either of them since then and I don't even know how to feel. I'm really not sure how to proceed since Christmas together was the only real consistent element in my life. One of the few times I could relax and feel safe about myself.

Has anyone else experienced a split in the family? How did you deal with it?

[QUOTE="MavenOfMisfortune, post: 27856, member: 55411"]Okay, bit of a heavy topic, especially from a new forum participant, but I'm sort of a bit lost and this came almost out of nowhere for me. Don't really have too many places to ask, and I'm hoping there might be someone on here that's gone through something similar.

My immediate family has never been overly close with my extended family. We've had good moments and family gatherings, but when we separated ourselves from most of them it wasn't particularly emotionally hard-hitting. We just did it and moved on. But we, my immediate family, were pretty close. Yearly Christmases together, and often still managing to get together in the summers to get away for a while... I should also add that both my brother and my mother were my first real best friends and have been my best supporters, so they're both close to me.

I got a call from my mother yesterday. My brother's had a rough life, so there's a few things he is traumatized by. I knew he was uncomfortable about my mother's religiousness, but I didn't know it was this bad. Apparently, he has cut all ties from my mother and told her he doesn't want to hear from her again. He's a very emotionally private person and very slow to act on his emotions, so for him to do something like this means it's not only a decision he's been stewing over for months but also one he will not go back on easily.

I'm still in shock. I've not been able to bring myself to contact either of them since then and I don't even know how to feel. I'm really not sure how to proceed since Christmas together was the only real consistent element in my life. One of the few times I could relax and feel safe about myself.

Has anyone else experienced a split in the family? How did you deal with it?[/QUOTE]
I'm currently going through something similar. My twin brother just told my parents he no longer wishes to associate with them. However, my family has never been that close to begin with. I've always been kind of the neutral party in the family, so that role has kind of stuck through this ordeal. I still talk to my parents and my brother, but I really don't know what Christmas is going to be like this year. We always made sure we were together on Christmas Day. I guess my main thing is that I know how you feel. You're not alone, and the best thing that I think we can do is try to maintain our relationships without jumping in the middle of it.