The Cohhilition

[coffin opens] Hello! Hello? Can you… no, obviously you can’t. Someone has set the dry ice machine all the way up to nimbostratus. I clearly specified cirriform! Fine! We’ll just let it clea – [sound of fan being switched on]. Really? This is amateur hour. Honestly… Well, at least I can read the autocue. Can they see me? Good. VELCOME! Aha-ha-ha-haaaa! Ha! Tis I, Plague Fearsome. I am your g[ho]u[l]ide on this DEADLY JOURNEY into the HEArT of HoRRor and broken k£yboard$. We have The Evil Within trailer for you. It puts “demon” in “demonstration”, and the “er” in “trailer”. For that is the noise I made when I watched this collection of eldritch cliches, this midnight gathering of unscary moments, this fl
e
ash video of awkward peril. Follow me as I drop to the paragraph below to escape its blunt and ticklish claws… [Wilhelm scream]
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