The Cohhilition

That’s it, Vin Diesel. I have had it with your coy, ultimately empty promises and suspiciously shiny head. Next time I see you, we’re going to throw down. You will win, because a) you have the musculature of a mythological Greek titan and b) are the Iron Giant, but still. Afterward, you will absolutely, positively – for some reason – regret getting me all excited about the prospect of a new Chronicles of Riddick game. Because really? All that ballyhooing and getting the old Starbreeze band back together for a quick-and-dirty mobile movie tie-in? I’m sitting here, fists clinched, just shuddering right now, Vin. And it’s only mostly from fear.

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