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It's about to get a bit deep in here, Throwing out the feels.

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 4:51 pm
by diamondback003
So a lot of stuff has been weighing on my chest, and I don't really have anybody to talk to, so I'm going to post here for whoever is willing to read it, this community has always been pretty chill, so I figured at least one person will be willing to listen. It's a bit personal, to most of you I'm a complete stranger, but there's a few who know me from chat.

To start this out, my name is Andrew, i'm a freshmen in college, eighteen years old and trying to get by. Seems pretty typical, but every situation is always a bit different. There's a lot of things I could go on about, and I'm not really sure where to start, so I'll start with my home life. A little over a year ago near the beginning of my Senior year in high school, my grandmother passed away. She meant a lot to me, so her passing hit me pretty hard, I did what I could to stay strong and stayed very stoic whenever I was around my family during the funeral. I still carry a picture of her in my car, it sits taped to my sun visor, she's was always there when she was alive, and in a way she still is now that she's gone. When it came to her will, that is when things started changing drastically in my life.

In my grandmothers will she gave the house to my father, as we all knew she would. The problem was that I was finishing high school, getting ready for college, and the house was a state away. One night a few weeks after the funeral my dad called me from my room to talk to me. He was taking my brothers, and they were all moving to my grandmothers farm, I was staying in Indiana alone. That was big news to me, my father trusted me enough to let me stay in his house alone. I was incredibly excited for a while, it was going to be an amazing amount of freedom. It was fantastic for a while, I got to hang out with friends, have friends over, be with my girlfriend whenever.

After high school ended it all went downhill though. My girlfriend Katie was a grade below me, so I was going to be starting college while she was still finishing high school. We had feelings for each other, it was a good relationship, and we were together for almost 2 years, but everything fell apart after I graduated and started spending a lot more time dedicated to school, college is a lot more work and waaay more time consuming than I expected. We ended up splitting up about 5 months ago, and it's still hard for me to think about.

Being alone isn't something I do very well, and bills were getting harder, so I got a room mate for a couple months, he was a good friend of mine. It was a lot of fun, and it was nice having somebody around to talk to and hang out with. Eventually it just stopped working out, he was a slob, and it kept getting worse, so I had to ask him to leave, I tried to talk to him about it, but it never worked, things were still horribly disgusting if I didn't go to clean it. So he left, and my house is clean now, which is nice, but I'm alone again.

Being alone depresses me, depression runs in my family, my mother is dangerously depressed, on the verge of being put away due to suicide watch and all those fantastic things. It was so bad at one point, she called me during my junior year saying she was going to kill herself, i was in the middle of class. My teacher heard the phone go off, decided it would be good punishment to make me put the phone on speaker, embarrass me in front of the class so i stopped bringing my phone to school. Everybody got stone faced silent when my mom started talking, she had taken a bottle of pills, and was killing herself that morning. My teacher sat there in stunned silence, when my mom hung up the phone on me, all he did was apologize repeatedly. I picked my phone back up and called the police and sent them to my mothers house. After i finished the phone call with the cops, I sat back down in my seat and told the teacher to get back to the lesson. I knew she was depressed, but nothing like that. I kept a tough face at school, but when I got home I broke down hard. It was a lot to handle at the time, now it's very hard for me to admit it, but I don't care anymore. Over the past two years my mother has said and done so many horrible things to me and the people I care about and has used her suicide threats as a crutch to get away with it. I recently got into a fight with her after she accused Katie "my ex" of some incredibly outlandish things, like getting multiple abortions and whoring around, and a few other things that are completely impossible. After that fight she realized that i don't care about her death threats any more. Since then she has straightened up her act and realized that I have lost all my respect for her, she will lose a son if she doesn't fix her attitude. I suppose that's a small up point in this entire post, I kinda sorta fixed things with my mom.

Things have been pretty grim, the depression from being alone has sunken in so bad, I spend most of my days buying booze off of my older friends, skipping classes and drinking myself into a stupor. I only drag myself out of bed to go to work. I haven't been to class in over two weeks, I'm failing multiple classes, things are bad, and I realize it, I just don't have the willpower to do anything about it anymore. Going to a dead end fast food job is the only highlight of my week, the people there are pretty cool, I'm friends with a couple of them, but we all live so far apart we don't see each other outside of work.

That pretty well sums up my home life and most of why I'm depressed. There's a lot of stuff to write about my relationship issues, so I guess I'll just keep going and cut some stuff out for the sake of space. So there is a girl, lets call her Lynn for the sake of anonymity it's a small world and you never know.

Well I first met Lynn 5 years ago, and things were pretty good, we obviously liked each other, we even kissed a few times. I didn't think much of it at all at the time, it was a summer break crush. We stayed in contact every once in a while, and we became really close over the next couple of years. We were never single at the same time, so nothing ever came of our relationship. We both knew we like each other, and any person who ever spent time around the two of us has said they see us getting together. The feelings are mutual, but it's just a very weird situation that's incredibly hard to describe because I don't fully understand it myself. We are both committed people to the relationships we keep. She currently has a boyfriend, so we don't currently talk a whole lot. Back when I was dating Katie, we split for a couple weeks near the beginning of our relationship and Lynn wanted to date me at the time cause for a couple weeks we were both single, me being the idiot that I am, got back with Katie because I was terrified of being alone. I was to stupid to realize that I actually had a shot at being with Lynn for the first time. yeah I liked Katie, but Lynn has grown so close to my heart over the years, she is the first one in my heart, and always was. I never fully realized it until recently when a friend of mine was talking to me about it all.

So that's the short version of it all to be honest. I guess if you want to know more just ask, I don't really have a lot to hide. I spend all my time watching streams to at least have some kind of noise and people to talk to, which is why I spend so much time here at the cohhlition, everybody is great and nice. So i guess that's why I'm posting this, so hopefully somebody will at least read it. I just needed to throw it all off my chest for a bit, at least a little.

Posted: Wed Nov 13, 2013 6:03 pm
by svenshine
Okay, I've been pissed off lately and I might've just broken my finger by punching a door, so I don't know if that makes me less qualified, but here.

My parents divorced when I was 6, didn't really bother me after a couple of months. I met my to-be Stepmother right before I turned 7. I liked her at first, but I didn't realize until later what she was doing. She'd make me call her mom, and my mother by her first name. She had convinced me that my mother was evil, and a terrible mother. Later I went back and apologized to my mom for putting her through that. From the ages of 8-16 I dealt with an abusive alcoholic. That just so happened to be my Stepmother. Usually every day, but sometimes every other day, there would be a fight. Words would be said, threats, sometimes actions, for eight years.
I would go to my father, but he believed he could save both his only son and his marriage, so he didn't really do anything. I lost respect for my father, and he didn't serve as a father figure to me, rather my Step-Dad was my father figure. I still love my Dad, but I don't like him, and I don't respect him.

When I was 11 I met this girl, Breanna, through a mutual friend. We would talk, and play games together. When she was around 12-13 her father raped her in a drunken mess. That kind of f***ed her up. She wouldn't really talk to people for a long time. I'd been able to get her to talk to me, and I helped her through it, and now she's better by multitudes. I had developed feelings for her just because of the amount of time and energy I'd invested into her. Alongside this friendship I was dealing with my belligerent Step-Mother, so I was extremely depressed. (anxiety runs in my family, and I was developing BPD) I attempted suicide 6 times over the course of about a year or two. What Breanna doesn't know, and very few people do (including you and the people who read this) is that she was the only thing that stopped me from offing myself. I had nothing left, except for a glimmer of hope that I could be with this girl. About 3 years ago, I think, Breanna met this guy named Matt. They dated, etc., and one day she came to me exclaiming that he'd taken her virginity, which to me was a cry of death. I love this girl, and it's just not something you want to hear. I was upset, but there was no fault. No one had done anything wrong. Good for her. I bared through it.
I dealt with 3 years of consoling her on her relationship issues, and just last week they finally broke up. Just 2 days ago she came to me telling me about this guy at a party who offered to be booty calls, and at first she said yes, then told me she said no. I don't know what to believe, and once again, no one is at fault. I love this girl. I know she loves me, but the issue is that she's not matured enough. It's not a bad thing. It just takes time. (she's actually 10months older than me)
Just a few hours ago, I endangered my friend's job when I was just trying to help, and someone was giving me serious attitude for no reason, which wasn't helping. I went and, with the combined rage of the Breanna drama, and this friend, punched a metal door and dented it. I don't know if my hand is okay yet, but it doesn't look good. That's not the first time, though, I used to get upset and go hit something. One time I punched a wall and carved it to the bone. Now I have 2 scars on my knuckles to remind me to hold my temper. (how funny because i didn't hold my temper)

The biggest advice I can give is this.
Endure.
You only get one life, that's it. Don't waste it because of depression you have now. Go to school, pay attention, and get back to passing. Go to work, pay your bills. After those VERY IMPORTANT responsibilities are done, do what you want. I would just wallow in anger and depression for hours, but don't ignore things like school. I know you don't want to, but you need to.
Endure the shitstorm. Do what you have to. I'm not saying it gets better, but it WILL get easier. If it does get better, great. If it doesn't, as long as you endured, you're callous to it, but you're alive.