Professor Veronica Marbles, chair of the Serious Person’s Classical History Forum, would almost certainly be outraged by the contents of the video below. It’s almost four minutes of naval combat in Total War: Rome II, you see, and it’s so preposterously crunchy and wonderfully dramatic that it can’t possibly reflect the reality of wooden ships at war. At one point a pack of smaller ships surround a larger vessel, punching holes out of its hull, like particularly angry jackals swarming across an elephant. Boarding operations resemble terrifying alien invasions, furious creatures pouring from deck to deck with no regard for life or limb. One ship simply chooses to disintegrate on impact. Surely, Professor Marbles, this was not the way of it? “THE RIGGING IS IMPERFECTLY PORTRAYED”
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